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Tuesday 9 July 2013

LET'S FACE IT: ENGLISH IS A STUPID LANGUAGE

We sometimes take English for granted. But if we examine it's paradoxes we would find that quicksand takes you down slowly, box rings are square and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. Similarly, there is no egg in eggplant, no ham in hambuger and neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England, French fries were not invented in France. 

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth? If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetable, what does a humanitarian eat? 


Why do people recite a recital? Park on drive ways and drive on park ways? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can 'burn up' as it ' burns down' and in which you can ' fill in a form' by 'filling it out'. 


And a bell is only heard once it goes! English was invented by people, not computers, and I reflects the creativity of the Human race ( which of course is not a race at all). That is why when the stars are out they are invisible. And why is it that when I wind up my watch it starts but if I wind up the story it ends? And more...


Some food for ' thought'. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why is the person who invest all your money called a 'broker'? Why is the person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? Why are ' a wise man' and a 'wise guy ' opposites? 


Why do 'overlook' and 'oversee' mean opposite things? If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible? Why isn't 11 pronounced 'onety one'?

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